Of guests and grindstones (for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bigkitty75)
Jan. 5th, 2008 05:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
head_psychic"Dad, I know this will probably be a shock for you and terribly hard to believe but the Dark Ages expired sometime before Benji Big Frank invented lightbulbs."
"Shawn, save your breath and keep grinding."
"This is ridiculous! That thing is perfectly fine."
"Trust me, Shawn. I know when a knife isn't working. And this one? Is not. It should be far easier to work through the sinews. This isn't supposed to be a saw."
"Why don't you just buy a new knife! I feel like a Neanderthal man. I bet work like this kills brain cells. That is why they invented machines. And Wal-Mart, which, after the end of the Dark Ages, started to sell knives. And that leads to the conclusion that grinding a knife on a stone in your kitchen that has Made in China written over the blade is not how 21st century life in America is supposed to look like. Just imagine some highly advanced alien culture decides to land in your backyard and what do they find? Us! Grinding stones! Providing evidence that we are unable to grasp evolution! Maybe that will convince them to blow the entire planet to pieces! And it will be your fault. I'm not going to be responsible for Apocalypse now."
"If some weird UFO thing decides to land on my gardenias they have other things to worry about. Me, for example. Keep grinding."
"You have twenty other knives!"
"Well, but you don't have twenty other places to go to dinner for."
"Actually-"
"Ah! No, Shawn, you don't. I need this knife for this meat over there to put in on this table so you and Gus can eat it. Easy math. Keep grinding."
---
"Oh, and why is that, Shawn, why is it that no matter where you are-"
"That is absolutely ridiculous! You are so... fixated in your fixation of... fixed things that all you see is the red light of do not want, because it is not going your way!"
"Don't you talk to me about anything going anyone's way, Shawn, because in your little world of bending and breaking rules you cannot begin to understand the meaning of-"
"Understand, understand, why, because your definition of life is as painful and grainy as this stupid stone, which, by the way is a perfect example for your inability to let go-"
"Let go is something entirely different as not holding on or following anything and if you just cut that crap for once! Want the colloquial term? Loser, Shawn, that's what life would call you if it was to sign your application."
"Oh, you wanna know what your application would be called, what your colloquial term would be?!"
"Well, why don't you tell me!"
"Control freak, that, dad, that's called control freak and I am so sick of that!"
"At least my application would be accepted!"
"I'm not applying for anything!"
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
"Don't you tell me what to owwwwwwwww!"
"Told ya. Grindstone's heavier than it- Put that knife down before you jump around like that!"
"Shawn, save your breath and keep grinding."
"This is ridiculous! That thing is perfectly fine."
"Trust me, Shawn. I know when a knife isn't working. And this one? Is not. It should be far easier to work through the sinews. This isn't supposed to be a saw."
"Why don't you just buy a new knife! I feel like a Neanderthal man. I bet work like this kills brain cells. That is why they invented machines. And Wal-Mart, which, after the end of the Dark Ages, started to sell knives. And that leads to the conclusion that grinding a knife on a stone in your kitchen that has Made in China written over the blade is not how 21st century life in America is supposed to look like. Just imagine some highly advanced alien culture decides to land in your backyard and what do they find? Us! Grinding stones! Providing evidence that we are unable to grasp evolution! Maybe that will convince them to blow the entire planet to pieces! And it will be your fault. I'm not going to be responsible for Apocalypse now."
"If some weird UFO thing decides to land on my gardenias they have other things to worry about. Me, for example. Keep grinding."
"You have twenty other knives!"
"Well, but you don't have twenty other places to go to dinner for."
"Actually-"
"Ah! No, Shawn, you don't. I need this knife for this meat over there to put in on this table so you and Gus can eat it. Easy math. Keep grinding."
---
"Oh, and why is that, Shawn, why is it that no matter where you are-"
"That is absolutely ridiculous! You are so... fixated in your fixation of... fixed things that all you see is the red light of do not want, because it is not going your way!"
"Don't you talk to me about anything going anyone's way, Shawn, because in your little world of bending and breaking rules you cannot begin to understand the meaning of-"
"Understand, understand, why, because your definition of life is as painful and grainy as this stupid stone, which, by the way is a perfect example for your inability to let go-"
"Let go is something entirely different as not holding on or following anything and if you just cut that crap for once! Want the colloquial term? Loser, Shawn, that's what life would call you if it was to sign your application."
"Oh, you wanna know what your application would be called, what your colloquial term would be?!"
"Well, why don't you tell me!"
"Control freak, that, dad, that's called control freak and I am so sick of that!"
"At least my application would be accepted!"
"I'm not applying for anything!"
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
"Don't you tell me what to owwwwwwwww!"
"Told ya. Grindstone's heavier than it- Put that knife down before you jump around like that!"
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 04:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-07 05:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-08 01:21 pm (UTC)He watches Henry with weariness. "And I do not want to add 'has to fix window' to the list of things your dad wants us to do." Which brings back the whole reason they need to get out of here in the first place. Gus looks at Shawn. "Dude, just use your fake cellphone ring, the 'important' call you get whenever you don't want to do something." Like cleaning the office, or running an errand. Gus gives Shawn the I know what you're up to look every time. "Tell him we've got a case or something."
no subject
Date: 2008-03-11 05:45 pm (UTC)He fishes for his cell phone. Pauses. Looks at Gus. "You think we should eat first?"
no subject
Date: 2008-03-11 10:19 pm (UTC)"Yeah, I mean, he'd be even more suspicious if we ran off now." Gus eyes the food even as he says this. If it's a question between his mind deciding something, or his stomach. Nine times out of ten it'll be the second one that comes out first.
no subject
Date: 2008-03-12 09:39 pm (UTC)