Random Mail (Application Prompt for muse_pens)

[head_psychic]

From: Shawn Spencer
To: Burton Guster
Subject: SUPER POWERS


Gus,

are you ignoring my mails? Why do you ignore my mails? Don't stop reading, I mean it, you won't have to scroll a lot. Unless you stop reading because in that case I have to keep writing that you should NOT stop reading this and this mail will get longer and longer. So. Don't stop reading.



I know you're not in a meeting, you're probably hanging out in your office and now you're being paranoid, glancing out of the window if there is any way I could spy on you with a spyglass. Which I am not. Sit down again for I have important news.

Do you remember our talk yesterday? About super powers and which ones would fit us? Because I have come to a conclusion.

Not that I need them, because I already have them. I have special abilities, I… see things. I have visions. The spirits talk to me. I can channel the invisible, spiritual traces of the vanished ones and I am irreplaceable for the police. I mean, they even made a comic about me, I’m Psych Man! (I know you know all about this but if someone's reading this mail over your shoulder tell them I said hi and that their karma is extraordinary today. Or wait, I'll just do it myself! Hi! Your karma is really something, you know that? Now stop reading my friend's mail because it is rude.)

… Thinking about that, I’ve never checked if anyone cosplayed us at a Convention. Whoa. That is actually a totally creepy thought. I seriously hope they don’t do that. Excuse me for a second while I google myself.

Phew! Looks like everything’s fine! I do get results of a lot of creepy looking people but at least none of them decided to dress up like me. Yet. Are we getting off-topic here? I am seriously sorry and ashamed of my random attempts to cover up that I still haven’t decided if I preferred a freaky microwave-stare or being able to shoot wood out of my fingernails. Whoa! Now that sounds fun!

Toothpick man!

Yes, I think I’ll settle with that for now.
Bring tacos on your way back to the office.
And stop ignoring my mails.

Shawn


Muse: Shawn Spencer
Fandom: Psych
Words: 382

Comments

re: subject: super powers

[bigkitty75.livejournal.com]

From: Burton Guster
To: Shawn Spencer

Shawn! You're currently fast approaching two dozen e-mails! Dude, I'm going to start labeling you as Spam.

And also, toothpick man? That's rediculous! No self respecting hero or villian would aknowledge you, ever.

Gus

Re: subject: super powers

[head-psychic.livejournal.com]

From: Shawn Spencer
To: Burton Guster


So you did get my e-mails! Dude, it's rude not to answer when someone comes knocking at your imaginary desktop door. Also, I don't have my own folder yet? I am shocked. Clearly you haven't been reading your Vogue magazine lately. We have a serious communication problem - you are giving me signs of rejection.

And yes, toothpick man. You laugh now, I work with the power of underappreciation! Didn't you know that driving wood under someone else's fingernails is a common torture... method thingy? Really! I've seen it on LOST!


Shawn

Re: subject: super powers

[bigkitty75.livejournal.com]

From: Burton Guster
To: Shawn Spencer

Of course I got your e-mails, it'd be pretty bad if my company address wasn't working properly. I am not giving you your own folder, unless it's directly connected to the delete option. As for communication problems, yes we do. You don't listen to me when I tell you I have too much stuff to do while I'm at work. I can't be spending all my time responding to your inane little life commentaries.

I'll underappreciate your powers! Wait, that really doesn't sound as scathing in writing as it does in my head... I hope you remember to Tivo LOST, I need to do some catching up in that.

Gus

Re: subject: super powers

[head-psychic.livejournal.com]

From: Shawn Spencer
To: Burton Guster

Ha! I'd like to see you try when my splinters of doom nailed you to the wall!

Toothpick Man

Re: subject: super powers

[bigkitty75.livejournal.com]

From: Burton Guster
To: Shawn Spencer

There's still the little point of my super powers, which, if I got to pick right now, I'd be the Sargent Floss! Able to slip out of being pinned to the wall by becoming exremely skinny, and then lassoing you with a floss based rope, my existance making toothpicks completely obsolete.

But since this is really too childish, and I need to work on a pitch, we're not having this conversation.

Sargent Floss

Re: subject: super powers

[head-psychic.livejournal.com]

From: Shawn Spencer
To: Burton Guster

... Sergeant Floss? Seriously?

I mean, are you trying to be utterly ridiculous? If so, you scored.

Now excuse me while I go and try to carve that mental image out of my head. With a spoon.

Re: subject: super powers

[bigkitty75.livejournal.com]

From: Burton Guster
To: Shawn Spencer

Yes, I was in fact aiming for utterly ridiculous. Good to know I can still hit it.

Dude? Mental image? Did I miss something?

Re: subject: super powers

[head-psychic.livejournal.com]

From: Shawn Spencer
To: Burton Guster

able to slip out of being pinned to the wall by becoming exremely skinny, and then lassoing you with a floss based rope

Dude, Saw III was nothing against that!

Re: subject: super powers

[bigkitty75.livejournal.com]

From: Burton Guster
To: Shawn Spencer

Dude! Think of this like Mr. Fantastic from the fantastic four! I do not mean horror flick. Ew.

Probably a good time to mention that I never did go and watch any of the Saw series.