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head_psychic"That's it, I'm out of here, Shawn."
"But we still have to figure out what's going on!"
"No, we don’t! Because I don't care! At all!"
"Gus, of course you care! Something's been killed recently. You can feel it inside..."
"No. No, I can not, Shawn. And neither can you. Let's go."
"Dude, we can't just go."
"Why not? Why can't we just once, just one time, turn around, leave and let the police do their job?"
"Because I had a vision."
"You did not have a vision!"
"I so had a vision, Gus. The vision of Lassiter's face when he hears we chickened out! Not gonna happen. Besides, the door slammed shut and I think it's jammed anyway."
"Lassiter's face. I don't care about Lassiter's face, Shawn. To be precise, I couldn't care less about anyone's face right now and... wait, what did you just say?"
"I had a vision."
"No, no, Shawn. The other thing. The thing about the door. And a word I didn’t like at all, more precisely the word jammed."
"Oh, that. Remember that low sound that almost made you jump me?"
"Are you telling me we're trapped?"
"I wouldn't exactly call it trapped because it is only temporary. It should take Lassy and the others approximately two hours to figure out what is going on and then they'll come and get us. Enough time to solve this mystery!"
"We're stuck in here with the possibility of a dead body nearby? For two hours?!"
"If they're quick."
"I'm gonna kill you, Shawn!"
"But then you'd have to put up with two bodies."
"You don't know that!"
"Of course I do. Me and that guy over there I just spotted."
"What g-ohmygodohmygod eeeeeeeeeh!!"
"Gus! Quiet! Just... calm down, will you, I... Gus! Let go, this is ridiculous, you... Gus! Calm down! Yes. That’s better. There you go, take a deep breath and don’t give me the bug eyes."
"Bug eyes! I don’t give you the did he just move?!"
"No, Gus, he didn't."
"Shawn, I'm serious. I think this dude just moved!"
"Don't be ridiculous, he can't move, I mean, look at him, he's clearly... oh."
"Oh? What oh?"
"Wait a second."
"What, why are you whispering?"
"Shh!"
"Why are you whispering!"
"Alright, listen to me, this is very important. No matter what I am going to tell you now, remember the Hitchhiker's Guide and don't panic."
"Don't panic? Oh, why would I need to? Over tiny facts like us being trapped in an old factory with a dead guy?"
"That's exactly the point. I don't think this guy is dead."
"What?!"
"See? He's trying very hard, but that crease in his shirt moves slightly. He's breathing."
"Then we gotta help him, Shawn, maybe he's injured! What are we waiting... what are you doing, let go of me!"
"Gus, I wouldn't exactly recommend that."
"Why not?"
"Because he's waiting for us to approach him."
"Why?!"
"Why? Why, because he's the killer of course. Of course, this must be how he got the others, this is why the victims were so totally random!"
"What?"
"Don't you see it? He's waiting somewhere, leaving trails that lead to some deserted places and then he plays dead or unconscious. When people approach him - bang! He gets them. Brilliant!"
"Brilliant?! We're stuck in here with a murderer! Need I remind you of the fact that because of you the door is jammed?!"
"Gus, will you keep your voice down! Have you gone completely insane? Don't let him know that!"
"What, what are we going to do now?"
"Well, let me think. Oh, I got it! For a start I'd say we don't approach him. Act like we're too scared or something."
"Act."
"Yeah, you're doing a great job there already! Keep the good work up."
"Oh really! And how long do you think we can keep this up until he gets pissed off from lying on the cold, hard floor with his plan not unfolding? Tell you what, Shawn, not long enough! And then he's gonna come over here and we’re going to be in a lot of trouble!"
"Gus, this floor is so cold that he will be totally stiff when he gets up. Big advantage! By the way, this guy must have a bladder like a god if he does this often, don't you think? All this lying around on the ground, you’d think he should know better than that..."
"Shawn."
"Well, either that or he has a hell of a cystis already. Maybe he has a bit of a sadistic streak?"
"Shawn!
"But since we can safely say that nobody who runs around and randomly kills people is in their right mind maybe that just comes with the field."
"Shawn! He's coming over here!"
"Definitely got a point there. Run!"
"Stiff, yeah?! I can’t see any stiffness! I can't believe you brought us in here! Did you know the killer was still around?"
"Buddy, I'd say you save your breath!"
"Where are we going?"
"There's a backdoor at the end of this hallway."
"There's a backdoor?! And you didn't feel like mentioning this earlier?"
"I wanted him to feel safe and confident so he'd make mistakes!"
"Mistakes? He's chasing us with a twelve inch knife!"
"Yes, you have to wonder where he kept that hidden... Ohmigodhesrightbehindus!!"
"Aaaaaaaahhh!!"
"Aaaaaaaahhh!!"
"Get the door! Get the door!"
"I'm on it! I'm on it!!"
"Lock it! Hurry!"
"I can't! I can't!"
"What do you mean you can't!"
"There is no knob!"
"Of course there is no knob, Shawn, it's a factory door!"
"So what, they don't have knobs?!"
"Well, this one hasn't!"
"I see that! Dude, get that iron bar, we can barricade the door!"
"I... got it! I got it!"
"Alright, now run!"
"Shawn! It's not working! The door's not holding out!"
"Don't look back! Just run for your life!"
“He’s out! He’s out!”
“Don’t look! Keep running!”
"Aaaaaaaahhh!!"
"Aaaaaaaahhh!!"
"Look! Over there! There's Lassiter and the others!"
"Lassyomigodyoureherethereisthisguyandheischasingus!!"
"AnditwascompletelyShawnsfaultheledusinthere!!"
"Butwetotallytrappedhimonlythedoordidntholdout!!"
"Andhetotallytriedtokillusyougottaarresthimquick!!"
"... Both of you, shut up."
Muse: Shawn Spencer
Fandom: Psych
Words: 1,008
"But we still have to figure out what's going on!"
"No, we don’t! Because I don't care! At all!"
"Gus, of course you care! Something's been killed recently. You can feel it inside..."
"No. No, I can not, Shawn. And neither can you. Let's go."
"Dude, we can't just go."
"Why not? Why can't we just once, just one time, turn around, leave and let the police do their job?"
"Because I had a vision."
"You did not have a vision!"
"I so had a vision, Gus. The vision of Lassiter's face when he hears we chickened out! Not gonna happen. Besides, the door slammed shut and I think it's jammed anyway."
"Lassiter's face. I don't care about Lassiter's face, Shawn. To be precise, I couldn't care less about anyone's face right now and... wait, what did you just say?"
"I had a vision."
"No, no, Shawn. The other thing. The thing about the door. And a word I didn’t like at all, more precisely the word jammed."
"Oh, that. Remember that low sound that almost made you jump me?"
"Are you telling me we're trapped?"
"I wouldn't exactly call it trapped because it is only temporary. It should take Lassy and the others approximately two hours to figure out what is going on and then they'll come and get us. Enough time to solve this mystery!"
"We're stuck in here with the possibility of a dead body nearby? For two hours?!"
"If they're quick."
"I'm gonna kill you, Shawn!"
"But then you'd have to put up with two bodies."
"You don't know that!"
"Of course I do. Me and that guy over there I just spotted."
"What g-ohmygodohmygod eeeeeeeeeh!!"
"Gus! Quiet! Just... calm down, will you, I... Gus! Let go, this is ridiculous, you... Gus! Calm down! Yes. That’s better. There you go, take a deep breath and don’t give me the bug eyes."
"Bug eyes! I don’t give you the did he just move?!"
"No, Gus, he didn't."
"Shawn, I'm serious. I think this dude just moved!"
"Don't be ridiculous, he can't move, I mean, look at him, he's clearly... oh."
"Oh? What oh?"
"Wait a second."
"What, why are you whispering?"
"Shh!"
"Why are you whispering!"
"Alright, listen to me, this is very important. No matter what I am going to tell you now, remember the Hitchhiker's Guide and don't panic."
"Don't panic? Oh, why would I need to? Over tiny facts like us being trapped in an old factory with a dead guy?"
"That's exactly the point. I don't think this guy is dead."
"What?!"
"See? He's trying very hard, but that crease in his shirt moves slightly. He's breathing."
"Then we gotta help him, Shawn, maybe he's injured! What are we waiting... what are you doing, let go of me!"
"Gus, I wouldn't exactly recommend that."
"Why not?"
"Because he's waiting for us to approach him."
"Why?!"
"Why? Why, because he's the killer of course. Of course, this must be how he got the others, this is why the victims were so totally random!"
"What?"
"Don't you see it? He's waiting somewhere, leaving trails that lead to some deserted places and then he plays dead or unconscious. When people approach him - bang! He gets them. Brilliant!"
"Brilliant?! We're stuck in here with a murderer! Need I remind you of the fact that because of you the door is jammed?!"
"Gus, will you keep your voice down! Have you gone completely insane? Don't let him know that!"
"What, what are we going to do now?"
"Well, let me think. Oh, I got it! For a start I'd say we don't approach him. Act like we're too scared or something."
"Act."
"Yeah, you're doing a great job there already! Keep the good work up."
"Oh really! And how long do you think we can keep this up until he gets pissed off from lying on the cold, hard floor with his plan not unfolding? Tell you what, Shawn, not long enough! And then he's gonna come over here and we’re going to be in a lot of trouble!"
"Gus, this floor is so cold that he will be totally stiff when he gets up. Big advantage! By the way, this guy must have a bladder like a god if he does this often, don't you think? All this lying around on the ground, you’d think he should know better than that..."
"Shawn."
"Well, either that or he has a hell of a cystis already. Maybe he has a bit of a sadistic streak?"
"Shawn!
"But since we can safely say that nobody who runs around and randomly kills people is in their right mind maybe that just comes with the field."
"Shawn! He's coming over here!"
"Definitely got a point there. Run!"
"Stiff, yeah?! I can’t see any stiffness! I can't believe you brought us in here! Did you know the killer was still around?"
"Buddy, I'd say you save your breath!"
"Where are we going?"
"There's a backdoor at the end of this hallway."
"There's a backdoor?! And you didn't feel like mentioning this earlier?"
"I wanted him to feel safe and confident so he'd make mistakes!"
"Mistakes? He's chasing us with a twelve inch knife!"
"Yes, you have to wonder where he kept that hidden... Ohmigodhesrightbehindus!!"
"Aaaaaaaahhh!!"
"Aaaaaaaahhh!!"
"Get the door! Get the door!"
"I'm on it! I'm on it!!"
"Lock it! Hurry!"
"I can't! I can't!"
"What do you mean you can't!"
"There is no knob!"
"Of course there is no knob, Shawn, it's a factory door!"
"So what, they don't have knobs?!"
"Well, this one hasn't!"
"I see that! Dude, get that iron bar, we can barricade the door!"
"I... got it! I got it!"
"Alright, now run!"
"Shawn! It's not working! The door's not holding out!"
"Don't look back! Just run for your life!"
“He’s out! He’s out!”
“Don’t look! Keep running!”
"Aaaaaaaahhh!!"
"Aaaaaaaahhh!!"
"Look! Over there! There's Lassiter and the others!"
"Lassyomigodyoureherethereisthisguyandheischasingus!!"
"AnditwascompletelyShawnsfaultheledusinthere!!"
"Butwetotallytrappedhimonlythedoordidntholdout!!"
"Andhetotallytriedtokillusyougottaarresthimquick!!"
"... Both of you, shut up."
Muse: Shawn Spencer
Fandom: Psych
Words: 1,008
