head_psychic: (with gus)
head_psychic ([personal profile] head_psychic) wrote2007-10-14 11:00 pm
Entry tags:

1.78.1 - Lyric Prompt - ([livejournal.com profile] realmofthemuse)

g) He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother – The Hollies

The road is long
With many winding turns
That leads us to,
Who knows where

But I'm strong,
Strong enough to care
Ah, he ain't heavy
Cause, he's my brother

But I know
He will not uncomfort me
Ah, He ain't heavy
Cause, he's my brother



[locked from Gus]




Above all I envied that Dad seemed to have more respect for him and his purposefulness than for me and my never-ending attempts to satisfy him. I envy Gus for not seeing it, for not having to cope with that struggle, because that's what you learn, isn't it, you don't envy your friends. I felt like a bad person back then until I realized it was because I was better than a friend. I was more, I was closer. That's why brothers hit each other and friends are not supposed to fight, right?

Like that time when they fired me and I tramped all the way back from Missouri. Spent all my money during a brief interlude that includes a freshman party and a bonfire on the freeway which isn't really relevant here (besides, Lassy might be reading this). So, I was back in Santa Barbara once more and I just knew he would help me out with his couch until I got something new. I have to admit I didn’t really call him or use the doorbell but that was simply because I didn’t think it was necessary. If you’re so close like we are you don’t have to speak, right? It’s right here, in the mind. Like in the first Turtles movie when Leonardo does that meditation and suddenly just knows Splinter is still alive and they have to kick Shredder’s ass. A connection. Telepathy. The deep kind. Gus was thrilled to see me!

Well, turned out he thought I was that mass murderer that was on the loose back then. I admit that the deep-voiced 'I’m here for you, Gusteeeeer' didn’t help. But that's the nice thing about being tight, you know?

A real friend wouldn't ask you why the hell you did that for or why you chose his couch to crash for the night but simply accept that you need him right now and then start being there for you.

Gus didn’t shut up one second that night, he was hysterical, yelling at me like a schoolgirl, stomping his foot and cursing his way right out of heaven.

Again, that proves we're closer than friends, that we are even beyond that level. It’s nice to have such a good friend!

You have to appreciate that. There’s no guarantee for anything in life. Safety does not exist.

Like when Mum was suddenly gone.

It's weird, because way back then I expected something terrible had to happen before you lose someone. I thought the only way to take family away from you was death. I was wrong. People can stop caring about each other and step out of each other's life at a moment's notice.

And it hurts.

That's why I wouldn't let Gus go away. Wouldn't let him leave me. Gave him the wrong letter at that stupid spelling competition. I did it because they didn't deserve him. No college, no 'your future will be bright but most likely without sex' private school, no scholarship deserved him. I deserved him.

I was the one who played with him even though he kept his nose stuck in that book all day long. I was the one who knew that he was more than a geeky kid, that he could ride a bicycle like whoa and that he could hit you back. Oh yeah, don't you underestimate Burton Guster, he can hit you. We got into fights pretty often. Real fights, not just bitching at each other. Well, not that we don’t bitch (in a very manly way) but I'm talking about losing deciduous teeth and rough stuff like that.

I also was the one who hooked him up with girls I secretly wanted for myself. Now who does that for you? Not even a brother would do that for you! I deserved him and I wasn't going to share him with anyone.

I wanted to keep him around so that after we finished High School I could be the one to leave him behind. Because as long as it's me leaving him and not the other way around I know I can always return.



[/locked]


Muse: Shawn Spencer
Fandom: Psych
Words: 690

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